Now, obviously this quote struck me before, but last night, it didn’t just strike me; it zapped me with a 2,000 watt flash. I think when I originally read it, I felt the truth in it, but didn’t really stop to consider it too much. After re-reading it, I can’t stop thinking about it.
I think the difference between fighting for something you love and not against something you hate is a subtle one. Fighting against something you hate would seem to be synonymous with fighting for something you love, as love and hate are a binary pair. There's no room for gray, no blurring of lines.
But the difference, I now see, is in the focus of the thing. I sit at a weird spot on the spectrum between skeptic and New Age hippie Spiritualist. I don’t believe that one can sit in a chair in one’s living room pretending to drive a Porsche and thus manifest a Porsche, a la The Secret. Actually, I think that kind of thing is dangerous in that it will not help you figure out how to get a Porsche, but keep you focused on the fact that you don’t have one, and worse, you’re desperate and deluded enough to sit in your living room all by yourself and pretend to be driving one and really expect a $100,000 car to just show up out of the blue. But I digress. But not really. I'm getting there.
I do believe in the fundamental concept presented in The Secret -- that what we lend our energy to is what “manifests” in our lives. You hear this truth all the time in our most familiar cliches – “Practice makes perfect”; “You become what you see”; “Actions speak louder than words,” and endless others. What we focus on is what our lives become.
If you’re fighting something you hate, what are you focusing on? Something you hate! Trust me, as someone who has spent the majority of her life fighting all kinds of things she hates, I can say with conviction that this approach is not a happy one. Focusing on the things you hate oftentimes leads to feeling like there is no point, because the thing you hate just keeps on and on and on. It is never eradicated, which means, in essence, you have failed. Once you feel like a failure, it becomes so much easier to just throw up your hands and give up.
But fighting for something you love ... we’re on to something here. This changes the focus totally and completely. And I can’t help but think that focusing on things one loves has to feel a whole lot better than the alternative, and is far, far more motivating. Imagine if someone came at you with the intent of depriving you of your most loved possession, or with the intent of hurting a being you loved, or trashing your most dearly held beliefs and passions. How hard would you work to defend those things? To make sure those things flourished and survived?
And doesn’t fighting for sound infinitely more productive than fighting against? And by strengthing that which we love, do we not weaken that which we hate?
I feel born again. Maybe all you super advanced humans are saying, “Well, duh,” to yourselves right now, but I don’t care! My eyes are opened, man, and nothing anyone can say or do is going to tear me down! I know it is going to be a challenge to make this shift. Just today, I've had to correct my thinking on more occasions than I'd like to admit. But I'm working on it, and it feels right.
That’s why I’m back to this blog thing. Because what I love is the written word, the exchange of ideas, literature, stories, books, tales, you name it. And though all I’ve gotten in the past for my efforts is a whole bunch of radio silence and/or chirping crickets, I don’t care. This is me focusing on what I love, fighting for what I love, and building my life around what I love. Who knows, maybe as I stumble along, other like-minded people will find their way here, and we can fight for love together.
*I cannot for the life of me remember or find this quote, so I cannot attribute it to the obviously much smarter than me person who said it. If anyone knows, tell me so I can do so. Thanks!